Buried

I have my face buried in my hands. With a sigh, I think to myself, the thing's I've gone through, the events I'm going through, and the events I will go through. I like to have an optimistic outlook on life, but then sometimes, reality sets in. I have to bring up my thoughts to get them out, and decide how to deal with them.

I have a daughter, but I do not feel like a parent.

I have a life, but I do not feel like I am living.

I want to wake up, but I am not sleeping.

Wants are wants I know. But don't we all want - and desire something better?  When will it happen? How will it happen?

My "job" or "mission" in life is to live a life that glorifies God. To spread His word. But God, throw me a bone. I'm going nuts down here.

So, buried in my sorrow and self pity, it's time to pull myself up and get going on this. I have to shake not only this attitude, but this mindset too.

I know I can, I know I will.

I am buried alive now, but I will rise. Just as Christ did, I will rise into a new life. It may take me more then three days, but it will happen.